The roller coaster ride called cancer....and a new home

After the 18 months of relaxing...a little...and praying...a lot, IT came back again.  I started back on Gemzar, which didn't work as well as it did the first time. During that time, my port stopped working and had clotted off.  I  went in hospital for a quickie new port, and found blood clots-ended up in ICU for a day on ATP and an angioplasty, along with new port.  Stayed on gemzar until June, took a few weeks off and after scans, started on Navalbine,.  That was absolutely NO FUN.  The Navalbine was working, but I felt terrible!  In Aug, while still on Navalbine, we moved to Columbia.  Here I was, sick from the Navalbine, and trying to move.  Luckily, Anita & Dan, as well as Christina & Jamey helped.  We also had my grandchildren, Tiffany & Richie with us.  The bad thing was....we had to spend a week in a hotel because the house wasn't ready.  Mike got a job, and I just felt terrible most of the time.

We found a Church fairly quickly, as there was only one in Columbia.  Mike had promised he would go with me, and make a real effort to understand more about the Church.  In fact, he joined RCIA!  I knew there were no promises, but I did know that at least he was looking into things.  I prayed all during RCIA, and actually, I felt Michael was really starting to like it.  I loved it, and felt at home right away.  I knew I would miss St Luke, but I also knew when God asks you to move on, that's what He means.  St Catherine in Columbia is a bigger Church, but just as nice and friendly as St Luke. It was like a family extension, and I, again, knew I was at home.

I made an Altar Cloth for St Luke Catholic Church.  It did turn out nice :)

Life......

It seems so much has happened in the past 7 years, but sometimes I feel like I'm standing still.  7 Yrs ago, I felt a 'lump' in my (L) breast.  I shrugged it off as a probable cyst, there is no known breast cancer in my family!!  I finally went to the doc, who totally freaked out and had me get a rush mammogram, which took 2 days.  I had an apt set up with the surgeon within the week, and he did a biopsy.  Well, the lump wasn't a lump, but a 9cm x 10cm mass.  He sent me to TN Oncology, and to Dr. Gian.  That next week was filled with scans, tests, pet scan, and more tests.  I also had a port inserted, which I am still very glad of.  When I went back to the office to receive my first chemo, what he told me, totally shocked me, and I remember very little from that time, on...

I had stage 4   her2+++ breast cancer. Seems it had not only been in my breast, but had moved on to my lymph nodes and liver. The chemo he was going to have to start me on was going to be much stronger than we thought at first.

I did do chemo, that day, and was off 3 weeks, and did the next treatment.  It was like that for about 4 months.  I then started on herceptin, and prayed the nightmare would somehow be over.  It wasn't because I had  lymph nodes under my left arm which were just not wanting to behave.  In Jan, we found a small growth.  Dr Gian sent me to the radiologist, who was not wanting to do anything at that point.  He felt he wasn't sure it was a growth, or maybe just a reaction of some sort, and wanted to wait 3 mos.

3 mos later, after a PET scan, we realized it was misbehaving lymph nodes, and back on chemo, again.  I stayed on chemo until around August, and we felt that just maybe we were being given a chance for a remission....& I was!

I actually got a break for about 18 months, and although I knew it could pop up at any time, for 18 months I was almost normal!

Here is where I'll take a small break.  I was baptized Catholic, and went to a Catholic Church as a small child.  After my mom was divorced, since she was brought up Lutheran, we mostly went to Lutheran Churches, or as we got older, just different ones.  All that time I went to Church, I always felt something 'missing' and never knew what it was.  After being dx'd with breast cancer, I felt a very strong urge to go back...back to a Catholic Church.  During that 18 month remission, I did go back.  I wasn't sure how Michael would feel, but I knew I had to be obedient to God, and I knew this was God calling me back home.

I took RCIA at ST Luke Catholic Church in Smyrna.   My daughter, at that time, also decided she wanted to become Catholic, and all her children, which at that time was 3...Timmy, Anna, Austin.  She was at that time recovering from her divorce from Sean, and this became a healing time for her, also.

We both worked hard to get everything done, and we were admitted into the Church Easter Vigil, 2005.  That whole time I never had a relapse.  That whole time both my daughter and I were given a chance to grow closer to God, and closer to each other.

 
I did this picture of Jesus as a gift to one of our new friends we met in RCIA.

Soap & More soap

Yesterday, my husband helped me make soap...2 batches of it!  We should have enough to last for awhile, or hopefully we can sell some.  I enjoy making it!  We added oatmeal, and a really light fragrance & no color, this time.  I'm now making all the scraps into laundry soap for my daughter & myself.

My left side of my back has been really hurting, not sure if its from the chemo or the cancer. Morphine is helping, but it seems its not enough at the moment.  I really need prayers. 

April seems to be doing well in school, but has already experienced her first heartbreak.  We all thought he was a really nice person, but realized he just wasn't who he seemed to be.  We have kept him in our prayers, and pray he comes to really know Jesus, and the truely forgiving nature He has

Pray also for Dee, my very good friend.  She is in the hospital in ILL, and not really sure waht all is going on.

I am thinking about making some chemo hats this week, or early next.  We are making our first promises for the Dominican Laity on Feb 13th, and I just can't go bald.  Debating on the wig, but its hot & uncomfortable, so a cap that ties in the back could be really cute!

Blesssings to ALL!