Gathering Wind or losing wind???

Who knows???  I believe only God knows that.  Yesterday, no cancer in my brain, thus far, just spinal cord, back, and problems.  Sometimes its easier to just sleep sitting up....  I am continuing my Radiation at this point.  4 weeks or so?  Not sure. 

My daughter will stay til Thursday June 3rd.  She said she would come back as soon as they want hospice.  I would rather she be here to help out as much as possible.  As far as that's concerned, I'd rather my family just be my hospice workers :).  Don't know how they feel like that.....  I do have a husband that's a nurse, plus Anita who is a Certified nursing assistant....what more could you ask?

I do know I'm tired.  7 yrs has just been so very long, and I have so may things I want to do, but will never get to do. 

Need to do some more sewing, some more talking to my kids/grandkids.  I think I want the most for them is to know how very much I have loved them over the years.  Somehow or another, God has given me a wonderful family, and I would never want to hurt them. 

You know, in the past 7 yrs, God has really emerged more & more in my life.  Maybe its because of Him, I have  less fear?  Nope, I am not so brave as to say I don't need Him, But with Him, I believe I will be OK.

Keep me in your prayers, today, and everyday.  Add me to your Rosary.  As I say my daily prayers, I am adding you.

Love-n-Blessings-PAX CHRISTI

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Pax Christi!

A whilwind has come!

With my last post, they said nothing was found on abd scan, so I went to radiologist guys....I KNEW something wasn't right.  On the 13th I went back to the Radiologist, and they were worried, but couldn't  figure out where the pain was coming from.  They wanted to order a MRI of my back, but ins said "no".  I was Dr Gian on the 18th, and he said I would have one, and rescheduled it for Fri.  On Thurs the Radiologists office called and said we would do it then.  So, My daughter & I went on up to the office for my MRI.  I was in loads of pain, and has to do it in stretches.    Results were immediate...not good.My left Plural space was 4/4 full of fluid, the cancer was 50% leaning against my spinal cord, and if we had not found this, I would be paralyzed within a week or so.  The cancer is basically all throughout my L side.

 On Friday, I had my plural space drained of almost 1000 cc fluid, had radiation tx, and will be continuing-for now.  I am having an MRI of my brain on Tues, today.  IF the cancer has progressed that far, well,  I'm not sure if I am going to keep fighting at that point.  God gives us all a stopping point, and I always knew when I would reach mine.  I will leave all in God's hands, and completely in His Will.

Not easy, but He has given me extra time.  I have had 7+ wonderful yrs with my husband & kids since dx. I pray I have used that time well.

I need to sign off, now.  Off to see the good Doc Gian, and then, radiation, then MRI, then.....well, I'll let you know.  Pray for me?